BIG ASS MALL SANTA'S COUGH SYRUP SOAP

Duke Cannon isn't a big fan of wearing costumes, but he'll make an exception around the holidays.

Like in December of '03 when Kris Kringle's local stand-in stumbled up to the mall with his beard askew and a case of the brown bottle flu. Duke Cannon booted that cotton-headed ninny muggins from his throne of lies, and proceeded to don St. Nick's uniform himself, saving a cherished holiday tradition and countless youngsters from a sleigh-load of childhood trauma.

Inspired by this incident, Mall Santa's Cough Syrup Soap smells like The North Pole and peppermints, not beef and cheese.

PRODUCT SPECS:

- Smells like The North Pole & peppermints

- Made in the USA by humans, not elves

- May encourage mischief and/or general tomfoolery

- A portion of proceeds benefits veterans and active duty military

- At 10 oz., this large soap is 3x the size of dainty seasonal soaps

Size: 10 oz. bar

Duke Cannon always donates a portion of sales to United States Veterans organizations.